Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Kiss - Dressed To Kill

I’m a latecomer to the Kiss Army.
I’m lying. I secretly want to dismantle the Kiss army and my problems with the band are well documented.
Nevertheless, I do believe I need to know my enemy and try to understand why so many people fell hard for these awfully limited musicians back in the day.
Prior to this album, I had only owned the Gene Simmons solo album (I hope to review that album someday) and a cassette copy of Destroyer which I, heh heh, destroyed after a few years of letting the thing take up precious space in my tape case.
I chose Dressed To Kill because I liked the black and white cover. The contrast was nice, and perhaps the music within was a contrast to what I had heard from the band before.
Immediately, I wonder why I even bother. Dressed To Kill is filled with the same clichéd tripe that bogs down most of their work and that’s saying something from someone that occasionally likes clichéd tripe.
But fuck me: ”She’s a dancer/A romancer/I’m a Capricorn/And she’s a Cancer”?! Are you kidding me?! (“C’mon And Love Me”) And that’s actually one of the good one ones.
The others are the obvious “Rock & Roll All Nite,” and Frehley’s “Getaway.” “Ladies In Waiting” isn’t bad either, until you get to the part where Gene goes “So you been to the market/And the meat looks good tonight.” Seriously, it’s shit like this that gets under my skin to the point where I want to neuter Simmons and create a reality show based entirely on him getting teased by women and not being able to do a goddamn thing about it.
And speaking of neutered: how about Casablanca Record-head Neil Bogart’s shitty production work. Every guitar sounds like it was run through a practice amp and the the drums sound like the were only mic’d at the snare and high hat.
Maybe the members of Kiss should have spent less time looking at the “meat” and spent more time figuring out how to bring more meat to their tepid studio sound.

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