Sunday, December 30, 2007

The 2007 Baker's Dozen

Good Lord. Is it that time already? Every year, Glam-Racket compiles 12 albums and then adds 1 more for good measure. Originally, the idea was for people to consider getting one album a month and then get another one for Christmas, a birthday, Thanksgiving, whatever. But since people don’t buy albums anymore, The Baker’s Dozen has changed has been reduced to “Those thirteen albums you should have illegally downloaded this year.”
Yes, Glam-Racket is as reluctant to give up on antiquated music formats in much the same way your Grandmother wouldn’t change from cassettes to cd. We’re old like that, holding on to a forgotten time when music fans bought albums, read liner notes, and then made a copy for their friends on a Maxell XL-II cassette.
Remember kids: home taping kills music!
Without further ado, below is Glam-Racket’s Baker’s Dozen, written in some kind of third person narrative like more than one person came up with this shit. Not so; it’s entirely from the dome of Todd Totale.
The best of the rest follow the top thirteen, but you should check back often to see how frequently I change shit around or add the stuff that I totally overlooked.
And again: If you’re going to whine about it, do so in the comment section and then get your own website and put your precious Robert Pollard album at the top at that fucker.

Baker’s Dozen 2007

1.) RADIOHEAD-In Rainbows
There’s a real possibility that, even without the music to consider, In Rainbows would have to be considered for album of the year on the basis of ingenious marketing alone. The entire “you price it” philosophy is something that would only work in the Radiohead camp, yet the novelty of it assured the band of unprecedented press coverage and a hype that surpassed anything conjured up by a major label.
And before you start thinking that I’m putting In Rainbows at the top of Baker’s Dozen merely on the merits of its overly clever release campaign, open your mouth so that I may insert my erect penis. Because what’s gotten me erect in the first place is the fact that In Rainbows manages to take all of the idosyncracies that made me love Kid A and turn it into an accessibly wonderful piece of work that the whole family can enjoy. Yes the band, known for it’s woefully pretentious image, could have easily rested on that perception and made another vehicle that only their most fervent fans would have enjoyed. But instead, they’ve surprised us all by corralling the electronic blips and beeps and made a remarkably relaxed and confident record.
Which again, points straight back at the entire marketing strategy. This is an “album” in the truest sense of the word, which is becoming a fairly rare anomaly in these days of digital downloads. And to prevent sacrificing their original intentions to a marketplace that is mainly raised on individual tracks, the band constructed a novel plan to keep the entire piece, the new Radiohead album, in the original context, they provided existing a potential fans with an incentive to keep everything in its right place.

2.) AMY WINEHOUSE-Back To Black
3.) ARCADE FIRE-Neon Bible
5.) DEERHUNTER-Cryptograms
6.) ANIMAL COLLECTIVE-Strawberry Jam
7.) OKKERVIL RIVER-The Stage Names
9.) PIG DESTROYER-Phantom Limb
11.) IAN HUNTER-Shrunken Heads
12.) LCD SOUNDSYSTEM-Sound Of Silver
13.) THE SHINS-Wincing The Night Away

And the following are recommended for further listening:

14.) DINOSAUR JR.-Beyond
15.) WILCO-Sky Blue Sky
16.) BATTLES-Mirrored
17.) BAND OF HORSES-Cease To Begin
18.) GRINDERMAN-Grinderman
20.) FIEST-The Reminder
21.) THE BROKEN WEST-I Can’t Go On, I’ll Go On
22.) TEGAN & SARA-The Con
23.) THURSTON MOORE-Trees Outside The Academy
24.) SPOON-Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
25.) PANDA BEAR-Person Pitch
26.) PAUL McCARTNEY-Memory Almost Full

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