Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Note To Eddie: Every Good Boy Deserves Fudge

Jesus Christ, this is horrific. While I was getting all smartassy about the Van Halen tour rehearsals, out pops a You Tube of the real live Van Halen concert and it’s even worse. I mean trainwreck bad.
Not only did those in attendance spend an ungodly sum to see a ¾ reunion show of Van Halen, they also paid for the privilege to hear Eddie Van Halen’s guitar completely out of tune.
But here’s the thing, nobody goes over to him to let him know about it! So he continues on, gutting the entire song (and encore, as this was the final song of the set) with this inexcusable performance.
It’s pretty clear that this is Eddie’s trip and that he’s successfully neutered Roth and created a bubble around him where no one had the balls to say: “Dude, get a fucking different guitar, you’re ruining the song with this one.”
And what’s with not noticing himself? Seriously, either his guitar is completely mixed out of his stage monitor or he’s too drunk to give a shit, but there is no reason why he shouldn’t be able to notice “Holy fuck! I’m way out of tune.”
Don’t tell me for a moment that the dude doesn’t have enough guitar juice to have a half dozen techs sucking him off backstage and making sure his free arsenal of guitars is ready for the next song on the setlist.
This tour may turn into a bigger fiasco that the last “reunion” tour with Sammy Hagar and Michael “Scale Wage” Anthony.
There were moments when I kept thinking: “This has got to be one of those videos that they’ve dubbed the guitar track in a different key.”
But after reading how on the show prior to this video of the Greensboro, North Carolina guitar disruption, Eddie missed a cue and came onstage with his pants unbuttons and falling down.
Further evidence that the tech is indeed sucking him off instead of making sure that the guitar he'll be using on stage is in fucking tune.

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