Monday, January 13, 2014

New Season Of That Metal Show Premiers With Another Guy You've Never Heard Of

Get ready for another exciting season of That Metal Show!

Yes, VH1 Classic's last remaining piece of original programming limps along with a new season. And what better way to kick off the show's 13th season (are we keeping track of this count?) than by featuring a dude from a band that you've probably never heard of, because they suck balls.

But seriously, Five Finger Death Punch is pretty big in my hometown-but they ain't nothin' compared to the country stars like Jason Aldean and Luke Bryan (two dudes that I've never heard a lick of either) because those dudes manage to sell out 10,000 seat arenas in this state, even when they hit one after another while the bros in FFDP can only half-fill the 7,500 seater here in town.

In other words, Five Finger Death Punch and their ilk ain't exactly making America return to a heavy metal parking lot.

Ultimately, my continued issues with the show has always been the co-hosts Jim Florentine and Don Jamieson, who bog down the proceedings with their pointless banter and consistently stale "bits." The continual ribbing they provide host and UFO freak Eddie Trunk resembles the same mean spirited dudes that used to feed on metalheads for not fitting in, rather than anything closely resembling the spirit of the heavy metal populous, regardless of what t-shirts they're wearing.

Another tired trend that these two mouthbreathers (and Trunk is complicit in this too) continue to spout is to knock off any consideration of having new metal bands appear on the show. I've lost track of how many times I've heard "It's called VH1 Classic, so go somewhere else to hear about new metal bands!" from the mouths of these guys, getting defensive over the notion that someone wanted to see Mastodon or any other artist that is forging the genre beyond the cookie-cutter metal acts that That Metal Show clearly caters to.

I mean Five Finger Death Punch? How is a band named after a finishing move from Kill Bill accepted as VH1 Classic material? So shit or get off the pot motherfuckers! If you're going to hold firm to your self-righteous bullshit of only featuring "classic" metal and hard rock acts, then lose Five Finger Death Punch, Stone Sour (and any band featuring Corey Taylor, for that matter), Avenged Sevenfold and replace those fuckers with the ratings bonanza that is the dude from Helix, Carmine Appice on his days with Buddy Holly and the Crickets and Blue Oyster Cult talking about where to find the best Comfort Inns with a free breakfast buffet.

So the guy from Five Finger Death Punch is gonna be on, and he's got a solo record coming out, and yada yada yada.

(New York, NY) - Heavy metal and hard rock fans worldwide can tune in to the inaugural episode of season 13 of VH1 Classics' That Metal Show this Saturday, January 18th at 11:00PM, EST/8:00PM, PST to catch Five Finger Death Punch axeman Jason Hook as the featured guitarist.

"I made this one in the computer room of my condo. Hope you like it."
Hook will appear throughout the entire episode, bringing his signature showmanship and blistering riffs to the show that caters to all things hard rock and heavy metal. As lead guitarist for the wildly successful Five Finger Death Punch, Jason Hook is currently touring the globe in support of the band's latest series of releases, The Wrong Side Of Heaven And The Righteous Side Of Hell, Volumes 1 and 2. Released late last year, both albums debuted at #2 on the Billboard Top 200 Album chart, respectively.

In between the band's extensive touring schedule, Jason Hook is writing and recording his second solo album, which is set for release this Spring. As a member of the multi-platinum hard rock/metal outfit Five Finger Death Punch, Jason Hook has established himself as a highly respected guitarist, garnering coverage in all hard rock, metal and player publications.

Although he may be best known for his role in Five Finger Death Punch, Hook is also an exceptionally skilled studio and touring musician who has played with the likes of such diverse artists as Alice Cooper, Vince Neil and more. Jason Hook's forthcoming second solo release, is highly-anticipated by both fans and critics and will offer a more diverse look at his talents. Jason's first solo record, Safety Dunce, won an L.A. Music Award for "Best Instrumental Record."

No comments: