Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Are You Ready For Some Rednecks?

Hank Williams Jr. is harmless.

Yet his insensitive comments have triggered the 24 hour news cycle outlets into a frenzy of commentary, causing Bocephus’ camp to release a statement that make him look more like a big pussy than a Southern redneck.


This appearance would have done no damage to his fan base and the story would have been forgotten before Wednesday.

And well it should be. It’s Hank Williams Jr., after all.

The motherfucker took a face plant off a mountain over thirty-five years ago. It’s taken people that long to figure out that he doesn’t have brains left to know what he’s doing?!

Wait, let me clarify. He’s got enough sense to parlay an entire career off of his old man’s legacy-remember, he started out doing his daddy’s music like some kind of impersonator-until he used his own tragedy to transform himself into some kind of rebel-rousing Southern rock icon.

Nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that anyone should give two shits about what Hank Williams Jr. thinks about Obama.

If you were to ask me that question a day before his appearance on Fox & Friends, I would have guessed, “He probably doesn’t like him.”

But no. The planet is outraged and even the hosts of Fox & Friends look startled than Hank Fucking Williams Jr. said something completely stupid.

Have you fucking heard any one of his songs?!

True story: I used to work at a country radio station, one that featured a transplant Program Director who wanted to transform the station’s format into a playlist that more ladies could relate to.

In other words, it became this boring, almost adult contemporary station that played a lot of Kenny Rogers and very little real country.

I pressed him once after looking at a copy of Radio & Records, a trade magazine that every small-market radio station seemed to view as “The Bible,” after taking a look at the nationwide country music radio chart.

I noticed there were huge gaps in what we were playing versus what was on the country charts.

I also noticed this during my Sunday afternoon playlist where I spent the entire afternoon simply playing the Weekly Country Music Countdown show.

“That Hank Williams Jr. song is a big hit elsewhere. How come we don’t play it?” I asked.

“We’re trying to appeal to more women.” He explained before bluntly adding “And women don’t like that stupid redneck shit!”

From then on, Hank Williams Jr. was labeled as “stupid redneck shit” until I understood that there was a place for stupid redneck shit every so often, particularly if you’re a heavy metal band that’s trying to do something “ironic.”

And then Kid Rock came along and made Boshephus uncool again.

So no, I wasn’t shocked by anything that Hank Jr. said and I wasn’t surprised either.

ESPN acted like they were; they promptly removed him from the Monday Night Football promotional introduction which had millions of sports fans like myself yelling “It’s about time! That song is as overplayed as Bob Seger’s “Like A Rock” was when that piece of shit was used for Chevy truck commercials.

Realizing that Monday night football provides him with enough royalties and paychecks to knock off at least an entire half-year of casino dates, Hank Jr. grovels like a little Republican bitch trying to make it all go away.

My bet is that they have made enough of the "Are you ready for some football!" promotional bumpers that Hank Jr. will be back next week.

And our country’s news outlets will by then be focusing their lenses and microphones on the next dumbass.

To quote his son, Hank III "Most musicians aren't worthy of a political discussion."


Jack Medley 666 said...

Hank 3 followed up by saying musicians shouldn't have political opinions.

BTW I think Sonic Youth was a guitar version of the Mamas & the Papas.

Cousin J said...

My favorite part of all of this is that Republicans are always calling Democrats pussies and yet here's this so called rebel outlaw whatever clearly conservative that's not standing up for his true beliefs...cause you know he believes every bit if what he said as well as shit like the prez isn't a citizen etc. People, like Hank, who listen to talk radio and blindly take the highly paid entertainers opinions for facts are seriously scary and dangerous.

Jack Medley 666 said...


PeteMyers said...

Really liked this one Mr. Totale. Great read!