Danny Kortchmar Tells Fall Out Boy To 'Get Off My Lawn!'

As much as I enjoy reading the Lefsetz Letter, there’s always a prevailing sense of fogeyism lodged in between the articles of technology, the end of days of the recording industry and the constant reminders to people throughout the record industry to shit or get off the pot in terms of how they market their product.
And it is about product in Bob’s mind-a number one like Vampire Weekend’s current offering, Contra, isn’t really a “hit” based on the tepid sales figures. Ten or so years ago, the sales results that Contra is putting up wouldn’t be enough to earn a #1 spot. Letsetz points this out in a way that occasionally borders on hostility-I mean have you actually seen pictures of Vampire Weekend? They’re not the kind of kids that are going to put up much of a fight, so why bother taking a swing at them with the “let’s see what sales they can do next week” kind of post.
We all know that it’s going to fall off the radar from here on out and it will probably struggle to get near gold status. The fact that everyone’s talking about them and they can only throw up a little over 100,000 in one week speaks little to the band’s hype machine but it speaks volume of how fragmented all of the outlets are in actually getting the word out to the mainstream.
They’re not, but you know what, neither is radio, network television, magazines, etc. etc.
The real story is Heidi Montag’s dismal debut of “Superficial” which posted 658 copies last week.

Where are the gloves there?
The song practically begs to be given an internet beatdown because it actually declares that Heidi “rock(s) the latest fashions and I set the latest trends” when-after looking at those embarrassing totals-she obviously doesn’t.
And then there are the occasional emails that Lefsetz receives, like a recent one by Danny Kortchmar:

Hey Bob,
Fuck all this bullshit….
A message to the Killers ..the yeah yeah yeahs .. mgmt…fall out boy..etc..try writing ONE song that has the power and truth of The Pretender, or Millworker by JT, or anything by Bruce or "Not Dark Yet" by Dylan or "Won’t Get Fooled Again…how ’bout it,"Monsters Of Folk? Do you have enough ass in your britches?
Don’t look like it…
The Supreme Court just decided to turn over the whole policital process to the corporations…any one got any thing to say about that? Ting Tings? Killers? Lady Gaga? Anyone?
It’s not bad enough that our leaders are of no help…where are the "artists"?
If you have nothing to say except "look at me" then… fuck you…remember when music used to mean something? Get your head out your collecitive asses and write something that speaks to the hearts of men (and women) or go away..
DK

For those of you not familiar with Mr. Kortchmar’s work, he’s a notable guitarist who’s played with many famously talented people. You can check out his work on Tapestry, which should be enough to get you to understand that he was kind of a big deal.
But am I the only one sensing a bit case of fogeyism with Kortchmar’s apparent displeasure over some of alternative rock’s most notable artists? I know, it’s hilarious how he lumps Killers and Fall Out Boy into an obvious disconnect as to what’s hip, but it’s bizarre how he chastises those artists to produce something on the level of Jackson Brown, Bob Dylan, Bruce Springsteen, and James Taylor.
By the way, Kortchmar was actually a part of James Taylor’s first band-the Original Flying Machine. The band was in their twenties, a war was raging and the political process was in disarray. Kortchmar and Taylor were actually around the same age as those artists that he recently lambasted.
So what were they doing to “speak to the hearts of men?”
They were knockin’ around the zoo on a Thursday afternoon according to one song. On another, they declared themselves to be night owls who enjoyed sleeping all day long. And Kortchmar-in an act that screams “look at me”-wrote a song and titled it “Kootch’s Song.”
It’s presumptuous and fairly egotistical to believe that music no longer means something today, and I may add it's common to hear baby boomers lecture other generations about doing more after squandering their own beliefs of the sixties.
Most people Danny's age are more like their Eisenhower loving fathers than they were.
Kortchmar sounds like he feels entitled to light a fire under the younger generation’s ass to do something while he couldn't find a Bic to burn his own to actually get up and find the exact kind of music he’s throwing a temper tantrum about. It's out there, but like an old man in the gaming section of Best Buy, he doesn't know where to find it.
His idea of who rock’s left-field spokespersons are is skewed because his fact checkin’ cuz is Rolling Stone, Billboard, that Spin he bought in the airport on the way back to Martha’s Fucking Vineyard, and the curmudgeon commentary of Bob Leftsez.
So why don’t you go fuck off yourself, Kootch. I’m paying for your goddamn social security benefits and I am tired of hearing your generation’s opinion on things that it has no business on offering its “advice” on.
Just look at the shit that you've started.

And by the way, nice dick move that you and Taylor pulled on the Flying Machine album. You want full album price on just an ep’s worth of false starts and studio chatter wrapped around three or four mediocre sock hop rock songs?
The ass in your britches reeks of adult undergarments and sour grapes.