Columbine

There are moments of American violence that has stayed with me for much longer than the required requiem. It started with a viewing of the Zapruder film at too young of an age and continues, culminating recently with the 10th Anniversary of the Columbine shootings.
I’ve come to believe that my initial interest came at the hands of the original reports of how disenfranchised Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold. Now that reports are surfacing that those initial accounts were filled with bullshit. It turns out that Harris was just a batshit crazy dickhead and Klebold a moderately crazy pussy that was Harris’ dickswinger.
Would I have used such pointed jabs if we found out that Harris and Klebold were indeed victims themselves of bullying and intolerance? Probably, as I know that their community was not the kind of place that bred the type of struggle that a child from the inner city would experience. Knowing that, I question how hard it really must have really been for a pair of white boys from upper middle-class families. Seriously, doesn’t any normal teenager want an environment where they can swindle out of family interactions? It takes a real fucked-up kid to spend that kind of freedom on drawing up plans for such mass destruction.
I’d be drawing up plans for a massive hydroponic weed operation. Get high and get paid.
Plus, they’d be too high to give a shit about what others thought of them, and my guess is that some of the people that they disliked could be charged extra for their weed.
I remember feeling annoyed at all of those stories about the entire corny “Do you believe in God?” altercation. I’m glad that the conversation now seems to have never occurred and how we can take that sort of scripted parable can be laid to rest. You had me at disgruntled youth-you didn’t need to make it disgruntled youth who digs Satan. Let’s keep the story arc to a manageable level.
So who knows, maybe the realities of what really happened will change my perception of Columbine. For a moment it seemed like the kids weren’t alright. That the idea of world connectivity and instant gratification would be too much of a responsibility for the youth and that it would spawn generations of manifestos and vendettas, an entire planet of spoiled kids with little empathy, too much time and too many guns. A place where beefs are settled by triggers instead of fists.
Of course, some of the responsibility would have fallen on my generation too-not just the parents-for failing to point out to our younger brothers and sisters that high school is so fucking temporary. Seriously, how many of your high school friends do you still keep in touch with now? It’s such a small enough part of your life that it certainly doesn’t necessitate killing off everyone that wronged you.
The way it sounds now is that even the two boys responsible for that tragedy 10 years ago made a slight reference to those that crossed them, but ultimately the source of their discontent came from deep inside their heads.
And that’s something that’s harder to comprehend than some simple act of revenge.