The Grand Illusion

Oh yeah, it was my birthday this week. Thanks for remembering. Actually, I like to keep the birthday on the “DL” because I’m old and now look funny when I go to bars. Truth be told, I can’t wait to become a really old dude and see some show. I’ll hit kids with my cane and piss myself to ensure a wide girth around me, one in which no douchebag will even want to invade my space.
It’s hard to believe how life…the real shit…started so late for me. I think it took me longer than most to get rid of that selfish bullshit that always bags you down in your twenties. For me, it continued on into my thirties.
Sure, I was married, playing the role and acting like a father to my ex-wife’s daughter. But I was emotionally disengaged for numerous reasons, most of which I don’t think of anymore. I’m too busy with real life.
I was reminded of *her* this week. What prompted the reminense is beyond me, but I remember an incident of complete lunacy…one of many…that just came back to me out of the blue. We were drifting apart and I packed my Honda Accord and drove. I ended up in Okoboji with a good friend and his woman. Financial difficulties had placed them in his parent’s basement to get back on financial track, but the arrangements didn’t seem to bother them at all.
They were content and happy and their situation was temporary.
I did a call back to my ex-wife and she told me that she was going to see Styx at this bar in Keokuk. Here’s where it gets weird. Styx was touring, but not at the time. I thought it fairly plausible as the band originated from Illinois and who knows. But why would they be playing Keokuk. In a bar, no less. Sure, they may not be hot shit anymore, but I’d be willing to bet they could fill a place with more than 200 people, even in Keokuk. Plus, the guarantee would have been outrageous. Didn’t seem right. The bar where she said they were playing was out of the ordinary. It was a place that occasionally booked cover bands, but not much. It was a place that I didn’t frequent, which meant that I couldn’t verify the story with any “regulars” that I might have run into.
Then there were the stories at how she “befriended” a few of the members of Styx. Never mind that she couldn’t identify any of their names other than “the guitar” player who was “the blonde one.” To add a sense of jealousy to the story, she hinted that the members of Styx wanted to party with her after the show and invited her into their tour bus. I swear to god, as I write this, I’m pausing in disbelief.
But this entire recollection is true and this is exactly what she told me.
Let me be clear: the story she told wasn’t true, but my recollection of the events and the story she told me over the phone is exact. I do not understand the motivation for such a lie…perhaps some weird attempt at getting me to drive across the state to confront her about a possible liason with the members of Styx…but it was of such zaniness that I ignored it, only to consider it later and only to remember it again this week.
I’ll tell another exciting story about my first marriage some other time but I need to pace these things apart. Not only for my own sanity, but you may recall that Glam-Racket originally went by another name and then ended when *she* discovered it and made things a little uptight.
Nowadays, I don’t really give a shit.
Nowadays, I still get the occasional weird text message from her.
Nowadays, I’m in a better place.