Thursday, July 10, 2008

Heavy Metal Chick

I’m worried about my daughter. Lately she’s taken a liking to screeching…full on…at ear-bleeding levels for fits of frustration and fits of joy. Now the joy I can handle; chasing her little ass around with her screeching and laughing as she tries to get away. She’s usually got the satellite remote with her because she knows that’s the quickest way to get us to chase after her. To her it’s a game. To me, I get worried because I’m fairly sure that those cocksuckers at DirecTV have got some kind of clause where they’ll charge me $100 or something if I break the remote on them.
The other screeches, the annoying one, comes when she is mad or frustrated. This happens when you do finally get a hold of her and take away that aforementioned remote. She gets mad, red in the face, clenches her fist and screams bloody murder. This has happened a few times in stores and the only thing you can do is look at those people watching to see if you broke the kid’s arm or something and throw back some basic resignation: That’s my girl.
I’m not worried about any of this. I can deal with the screeching because on occasion I’ll randomly yell at people for no real reason…Like if I see some one walking down the street talking on a cell phone I’ll scream “Hey! Are you talking on a cell phone?! You’re mobile! You’re cordless! You’re talking on a cell phone!” They’re confused for a moment, but it gives them something to talk about later.
What’s troublesome is her apparent love for metal. She will immediately bob her head to AC/DC and I did catch her grooving to Motley Crue. Strangely, we were watching a Kiss concert once and she stared at them for about a minute before casually walking up to the television to change the channel.
These behaviors are demonstrating unequivequibly that she is my daughter.
Liking metal isn’t that bad, but walking about with her sippy cup, raising in the air and doing a little butt wiggle strikes me as obscene. I’m reminded of those Girls Gone Wild commercials. She also likes taking off her shirt and is fond of running around naked.
Actually, her Mom does that too , so these behaviors are demonstrating unequivequibly that she is my wife's daughter.
We took the kids to the Grandparents today; we will be kidless for an entire week and just 90 minutes after dropping them off, the house is too quiet. It always goes like this: we miss them, we get used to them being gone, we start to enjoy the serenity and each other as a couple, and then it’s time to pick them up. But this will be the longest time we’ve been away from them, so we’ll see how long after “enjoying the serenity” before we begin to really miss them.

4 comments:

Churlita said...

Be careful with that one. You may want to hang out with guys who work at the Picador.

When my daughter went to her first all ages show there at 15, my friend J. was the sound guy, and started to check her out and then realized who she was and that he'd known her since she was 3 and it freaked him out. He said he kept wanting to tell all the other guys in the bar not to look at her. So, at least I had someone watching out for her.

If you can't fight genetics, you can at least make sure there are guardians out there...

Todd Totale said...

So what do I do when one of the guys at the Picador fucked an ex girlfriend?! You probably know exactly who I'm talking about.

Tanja said...

I'm sure she will have a big brother that watches out for her.

Churlita said...

I don't think I've heard that story, but I can guess which guy you're referring to. Was he in a band that started with an S?"