The Kings - Amazon Beach

If you’ve never heard The Kings “Switchin’ To Glide/This Beat Goes On,” you’re missing one of the greatest pop singles of all time. High praise, I know, but I’m very serious about it and the shame is that there are a ton of people (and perhaps you’re one of them) that have no idea what I’m talking about.
The Kings were never able to turn that incredible song into a hit and the album it came from, The Kings Are Here, never got off the ground either. Truth be told, “Switchin’ To Glide/This Beat Goes On” is the best thing on The Kings Are Here, despite Bob Ezrin’s best intentions.
Yes, the man who helped make Pink Floyd’s The Wall could not save this quartet of Canadians from the undeniable fact that they suffered from a complete lack of decent material, sans that aforementioned single, of course.
It was great enough for me to notice The Kings follow-up, Amazon Beach, albeit only for the reason that it was in the cutout bin at Woolworths for just a buck. To be completely honest, the debut was mediocre enough for me to cut my losses, but a buck-a-record ain’t a bad deal, particularly if it contained a tune half as good as that first single.
Ezrin had nothing to do with the weakness of the Kings’ debut, but he sure had a hand in the second one. Fresh off the clusterfuck of Kiss’ Music From The Elder, Ezrin furthers his coke-fueled dissent with Amazon Beach. Since The Kings aren’t known as notably consistent tunesmiths, Ezrin trims the material down to a mere 8 songs and fills every nook-and-cranny of the band’s power pop sensibilities with retarded sound effects, production tricks, and overwrought arrangements that curiously try to wipe away the garage-rock upbringings that made them such a refreshing joy on the radio.
With this strangely out-of-place and unwarranted production values, Amazon Beach feels incredibly long despite its brevity. And the lyrics make the time pass even slower, with regrettable phrases like “I’ve got dual exhaust on my automobile/I use a twin blade razor cuz I like the feel” (“Got Two Girlfriends”) abounding.
The Kings were quickly dropped after Amazon Beach, and little was heard from them until the obligatory reunion shows many years after most people cared. But even during the time when people did care, it was because of that landmark first single. Amazon Beach showed us that, not only were The Kings a one hit wonder, they were a one-trick pony too, no matter how much window dressing Bob Ezrin throws on them.