Blowed Up Real Good

Here’s a glimpse of the fireworks booty we’ll be setting off tonight in our back yard.
Front and center is “Robot Attack” who declares “Must destroy humans,” so you light his fuse and blow him up.

Purchasing fireworks is such a visceral experience-it’s eye candy for humans, particularly males, who find the brightly colored packaging enticing, probably because we know it will explode in a stunning array if we combine it with one of our other favorite forms of eye candy: fire.

There were many choices for those popping things that snap when you throw them against concert. I loved them when I was a kid, so I bought a few boxes for ours to throw at each other. I bought the “Pop Pop” brand, because it reminded me of a Rickie Lee Jones album.

“Should we buy some “Whistling Petes?” asked my wife.

“Hell yes, we should buy some!” was my immediate response.

I got a couple of planet Earth replicas with the name “World Peace” because I thought it was hilarious that the Chinese firework manufacturer felt the best way to display world peace is by creating a cardboard Earth, fill it with black powder, and have people blow it up.

I’m totally singing Genesis’ “Land Of Confusion” when I light it.

Yes, some of the packaging is so awesome that it will be hard to destroy it. But then I would be depriving my children of the privilege of staying up late on our country’s independence day to watch me make them blow up real good.