Tuesday, February 24, 2009

OCD Chronicles: Patti Smith-"Piss Factory"

I probably neglected to mention the change in my real world duties, so here’s the rundown. The division that I work for suddenly changed my work schedule to a time that I could not manage. When I was hired, I was advised that my shift ended at 4:30. When I confirmed my work schedule, I was told that it would be 4:30pm, 5:00pm at the latest. They then introduced a “shift bid” process, which means that you are forced to bid on your shift preference each quarter. Three criteria are used if you get the bid, with seniority being one of the criteria.
Everything was fine for the longest time, but then in an effort to fill vacancies, they began offering positions to people in other divisions. There was an overwhelming response and most of the shifts were filled with tenured associates, thereby eliminating my own seniority criteria.
They also began tweaking other aspects of the shift bid process which, to make a long story short, put me at a shift that was two hours past my traditional shift end and put a unworkable child care situation. In short, one kid’s after school program ends at a certain time and the other’s childcare provider ends even earlier. My shift would have ended after both of those times, and I was unwilling to find new arrangements within the two-week start date they proposed.
The solution was to work for another division within the company.
Previously, I dealt with more high-end clientele. Arrogant rich fucks and the local sales base that “supported” them. I now deal with a blue-collar clientele, individuals with much smaller income and even smaller understand of what products they have. It’s frustrating, but surprisingly less frustrating than the bullshit that I was dealing with before.
The new position required 4 weeks of training, one in which I was placed with a pair of new hires. As we made our way into our new surroundings (mine, ironically, just three sections down from my old cubicle, which means that I retain my view of the lake) I saw the excitement that one particular newcomer had towards his position and the great desire to make an impression.
I was immediately reminded of Patti Smith’s “Piss Factory.”
“Hey sister, you’re movin’ way too fast
You’re screwin’ up the quota”
I looked at the stats and, sure enough, said noobie was already near the top of our team’s stats. I wanted to tell him that he’d have the rest of the year to blow it out of the water, to take it easy for the first 90 days because nobody cares about his stats now. When it gets to the end of his first ninety, his boss will get with him and set realistic goals. Why bust ass and then find yourself having to bust even more ass just to demonstrate that you’re making an improvement? Start low and move up gradually.
“Now get off your mustang, Sally
You ain’t goin’ nowhere…”

At least for one year; those noobs gotta stay in one spot before they can transfer elsewhere.

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