A recent article I did had me asking the question: “I wonder what Warrant is up to?” to which I did a little digging. I apparently missed the press release that told the world that Jani Lane was getting back with the rest of the band for a world tour that featured the original line-in. It was their first time together in over 14 years, so as you can imagine, the world waited with baited breath to see the down boys. With such a wonderful occasion, one would think that the brilliant creative force behind “Cherry Pie” would want to give the audience their best performances ever…to give them a taste of what they may have missed the first time around when Jani and the boys ruled the pop metal landscape.
So how does Jani show his appreciation to the ever-diminishing fan base? He gets stinking drunk for a recent performance that is so awful it borders on the surreal. Rather than sucker punch Lane for this embarrassment, the rest of the band competently continues on with their legendary smash “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” while their lead singer slurs off-key.
Backstory: this douchebag has a history of substance abuse after apparently taking the fact that Warrant was left behind in grunge’s wake a little too personally. Rather than wait for the inevitable pendulum back towards profitability, Lane repeated the story of how he knew his label had abandon him after paying a visit to his record company’s offices. On one visit, they had huge framed posters of Warrant’s album Cherry Pie. On the next visit, the posters were of the latest Alice In Chains record.
He blames the downfall on lack of label support when pop-metal ran its course, not once acknowledging that he and his bandmates had essentially been sucking their label’s dick from day one. Lane fails to acknowledge how fucking awful the follow up to Cherry Pie was and how it was his creative control that ultimately contributed to the band’s demise. Yes, Dog Eat Dog was Lane’s attempt at showing Warrant were “true” artists, somehow above their pop-metal tags. By incorporating Queen-like arrangements and self-depravating song titles like “Andy Warhol Was Right,” Lane began the futile efforts to distance himself from the gravy train that filled his bank accounts.
And then the ungrateful prick later tries to distance himself from the biggest cash cow of them all…the song “Cherry Pie”…by whining how it was the head of the label that encouraged him to go back and write a hit single for their second album. Lane did exactly what he was told, and “Cherry Pie” became the band’s biggest chart success ever. But all you hear Lane talk about now is how he hates the song because it was the label’s suggestion and they completely took the song and changed the entire idea for the second album.
I say, be a little more appreciative of it, holmes, Because without that bit of direction, your fucking fifteen minutes would have ended a helluvalot sooner.
But the clip is more than embarrassing, it’s bad enough that we should never have to hear the word “warrant” again, unless it’s being delivered from a law officer.
On another note, I did manage to catch wind that Stephen Pearcy had re-joined Ratt for yet another reunion tour. Apparently Pearcy also got too drunk at a recent performance in Mexico and could barely finish “Lay It Down.” The band paused long enough for guitarist Warren DeMartini to take Pearcy backstage and knock him out, allowing second guitarist (and ex-Motley Crue replacement member Jon Corabi) complete the rest of the vocal duties for the rest of the night. Corabi has also apparently left the Ratt fold, allowing, get this, ex-Quiet Riot guitarist Carlos Cavazo the opportunity to join up.
Someone not only needs to tell these 80’s bands that it’s a different world now…that being drunk and on stage only gets your shit broadcast on YouTube a few hours after the fact thanks to video phones. And they need to be reminded that the only people left that are willing to shell out their cash for nostalgic trips are the very fans booing at the drunk vocalist on stage. Get your shit together or stay home, because to embarrass yourself like this is ultimately career suicide, part two.
6 comments:
Yeah--so I went with a friend to see Warrant/Firehouse at Hawkeye Downs. Hilarity and thankfullness for Busch Light tall boys ensued.
nowhere on that clip does he say anything about french toast. damn you.
Good fucking riddance. I will always hold a grudge against the Poisons and White Lions of the world for trying to destroy Rock and Roll back in the late eighties. At first, a band would build up some buzz using a butt-dumb party anthem before hitting the public in the gut with a sappy tearjerker, but that just set the stage for the Extremes of the world to release albums of nothing but treacle and get away with it.
Now, of course, they're just big, harmless jokes but a lot of people forget just how oppressive it was back in the day when all rock bands sounded like Winger.
shudder
You would never see this kind of shit out of The Priest and I'd bet money that Dio & Iommi don't go on buzzed. You know that I dig quite a bit of 80's metal, including plenty of hair bands and I have to say that NOT all bands sounded like Winger. Warrant was never a band that any dudes I know could get in to. They, like the aforementioned Winger were mostly chick bands that most dudes couldn't stand. So, 'yhp', let's not discount that there were also many bands that had at least one or two cool songs before losing their way. At the very least this makes them NO different than any of the bands that cashed in on Nirvana's success in the 90's and into the 2000's. Those bands were as controlled by the record companies and their songs/career path as formulaic as any 80's hair band. Can you honestly say that these 90's Nirvana/Limp Bizkit wannabe's didn't also contribute to the re-creation of the same environment that Nirvana destroyed? That all being said Jani Lane was and always will be a joke, 99% of guitar players in the 90's & 00's aren't fit to tune Warren De Martini's guitar and 'Lay It Down' has one bad ass riff.
Which is why I'm looking forward to the total demise of the major record label business model. You will see an influx of smaller labels (like the original days of rock 'n roll), a greater focus on touring (ditto) and a wider variety of bands to choose from. There will be less of a chance for labels to try and market a specific genre (like they did with metal and grunge) but I don't think that will do away with the shitty bands that are being mentioned. The poor taste of the general music public amazes me, and I'm sure we'll continue to see bands as shitty as Warrant, Winger, and Candlebox down the road. But will they be as ungrateful as Lane and suffer the same type of amnesia? Seriously, this dude likes to hide behind the entire "the label made me do it" but you didn't hear complaint one when he was cashing his pretty large paychecks back in the day. And now that he's run through his bank account, he's forced to play the old tunes again with his former bandmates. Since he really doesn't like it that much, he gets drunk and essentially tells the crowd "fuck you" by getting too drunk to perform. He needs to man up and find another line of work if he has issues with his place in rock history.
And it does bug me a little about Ratt, a band that did have some decent songs and a fairly awesome guitarist. Pearcy has such a limited range to begin with that he should know more than anyone that his biggest asset is with these guys backing his sorry ass up. To come out loaded like that is another fuck you. He also needs to take down those pics of him and The King on his website. The dude barely visited the guy when he was dying, so why is he putting up photos like he's a fallen friend?
FYI, in the 90's, after the record label fucked him over, Jani Lane was a super drunk dishwasher/cook at a greasy spoon bar/restaurant/local music venue in the Cleveland area. A forum I used to frequent said that they would go there occasionally for a laugh. I actually believe the dude because it was a private forum with very few members most based in the Kent, OH area that dealt mostly with music. I found my way there because two of their main targets of ridicule were Gene & Paul.
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