I have to confess that for the past month, I've been so fed up with work that I merely go there, barely converse with anyone, do my thing and then go home. They've sucked the fun right out of the place and the company's lame attempt at fun is falling flat with cynics like me.If you don't care about your staff, that's one thing. But to pretend that you care when you really don't is pretty unforgiveable.
But you probably know me well enough to know that I can't just sit idly by and not enteract with my fellow man. Dicking around a bit is in my blood and I'd like to think that my antics make coming to work a little easier for some.
For one individual, it didn't.
Brief backstory: I don't really work with this guy too much and have even fewer points of contact with him. He works for another team, does another task, blah blah blah. Let's just say he works for the team that tries to save customers while I mainly work with the sales people that...well, it doesn't matter.
Our story picks up when one of his contacts gets a hold of me by accident, isn't very forthcoming with information, and essentially says "Go get this guy for me. He knows what's going on." Fair enough, but I like to offer that person the courtesy of giving them a heads up instead of just blindly transferring them over. You know: there's this douchbag on line one looking for you.
The caller isn't really a douchebag, just a "do this now" type of guy. I do manage to get what the call is in regards to: it concerns a guy named "Chalupa."
"I'm sorry," I politely respond, "could I get the spelling of the name?"
"C-H-A-L-U-P-A" he offers, with a hint of a chuckle, knowing that everyone immediately thinks of the Taco Bell product line of the same name.
The guy he's looking for-we'll call him Christopher because that's his name-isn't available, so I offer to take a message and he accepts.
Getting all the information, I email Christopher with the message and have a little fun with it.
A few minutes later, I get a reply back. There's a half-assed line of gratitude, but there's also a surprising lecture in it to that I immediately notice and it totally ruins the rest of my day.
Here's the culprit and my original email:
From: Vagina, Christopher
Sent: Tuesday, September 01, 2009 9:33 AM
To: Totale, Todd
Subject: RE: The Chalupa Case
thanks I will call him
in the future I would appreciate comments as such to be left alone
this is a very challenging case and has required alot of my time off the phone.
Thanks Todd
From: Totale, Todd
Sent: Tuesday, September 01, 2009 9:04 AM
To: Vagina, Christopher
Subject: The Chalupa Case
George C. would like you to call him at 319-653-XXXX regarding the Chalupa case.
Later on, he would like to see you personally about the Gordita matter.
Don't get him started on the Beef Meximelt incident...
Seriously. What the fuck was wrong with that?! Everyone and their dog would immediately visualize a Mexican food dish-probably from that aforementioned fast food chain-when they heard the name "Chalupa." Rather than sending an inpersonal email saying "Call this douchebag," I decided to liven it up a bit. If you don't think it's funny, then leave it alone. If you do have a laugh, you're welcome. But this little pussy actually replies and spends more energy lecturing me than thanking me for passing along the message.
Here's an idea, why not give the guy a way to reach you directly instead of having me be your little "While You Were Out" bitch?
I've been to one training class with this guy and he seemed alright at the time. He offered a few laughs and responded as such when the rest of us did as well. But now he's obviously let his position of irrelevance go to his head, pretending to be an important cog in the chain of our company when the extra time that he speaks of is woefully exagerrated (I dug deeper and learned of the issue he was facing and it's something that shouldn't require much of his time at all).
As much as I wanted to respond and as much as I wanted to confront, I stayed silent-forwarding the jaw-dropping tit-for-tat email to a select few and sharing the exploits of my moronic counterpart to you-the world wide web.
No wonder I can't stop playing Jay Reatard's "It Ain't Gonna Save Me" over and over.
5 comments:
Some people have no sense of humor.
I can only hope that idiot mentioned "the Gordita matter" to Mr. Chalupa and was castigated for it. That's the only reason he would need to be all huffy about that email - take it from me, I once dealt with a client named Thomas Pancake and it still makes me laugh to this day.
I've gotta ask, though, what's up with the pic? It looks like Britt Daniel doing Gene Hackman's soliloquy from The Poseidon Adventure.
"HOW MANY MORE SACRIFICES? HOW MUCH MORE BLOOD? etc..."
I know I invested way too much energy into the entire matter, but the point is that those comments back weren't necessary. He's a peer-he has no authority over me and any complaint would probably be met with "Well, the guy's name was Chalupa. Let it go." As you stated: there is no reason for him to take offense. None.
And I'm glad you caught the picture. It's from the Mississippi River Museum in Dubuque-recommended if you've never been there. In addition to a killer aquarium of river aquatic life from your neck of the woods, there is an old paddlewheel you can visit. Think of the George M Verity, but better maintained and a bit bigger. Anyway, in some areas they have mannequins posing as workers-some of which have a good couple of inches of dust on them, which added to their disheveled look. I snagged a few photos of them in strange angles. "By the master of realism, Irwin Allen, oh what a relief!"
As my daughter would say, what a doucher. I would love it if someone sent me something like that. I'd laugh my ass off at the Gordita joke.
I'd hate to go through life with no sense of humor. If you ain't laughin' at that Chalupa joke, then I feels sorry for ya. Cause that's what I call 'Bringin' the funny!' Especially at work...I mean come on, it's work for Christ's sake! Who here makes enough money to care that much?!?!?
The other day my boss asked us what we'd do if we got a bomb threat call. I said, "Call the cops & walk my ass out the door ASAFP." Needless to say, I didn't pass the loyalty test.
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