Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ozzy Circa '82

At first, I didn’t believe it, but I believe everything that’s posted on I’m Gonna Blog A Little Bit Over Here. Apparently, Ozzy Osbourne…scratch that, Sharon Osbourne…is trudging out the family again for another season of The Osbournes.
Now before you think that it’s all about the old reality TV of old-you know, the one where Ozzy trots around like a brain damaged grandpa and Sharon tries to make him go on tour again to fund her insatiable lust for shit-please understand that his wife is all about keeping the Osbourne name relevant.
It’s a fucking variety show!
Yessir, just like those variety shows from the 70’s except with more profanity and a pair of spoiled twenty-somethings that’ve never worked a day in their life and never even bothered to graduate high school. And just like those variety shows from the 70’s, this one looks to be just as unfunny.
I used to like Ozzy-the wife still does in fact-but even she agrees that the preview for the new Osbournes show verges on being unwatchable. I’ll even admit to liking that first season of the Osbournes when it still had the element of reality to it.
But then it became obvious that Sharon liked her newfound celebrity and the extra paychecks that came with it. It was enough to make me long for the Ozzy of old. The one where he appeared, glossy eyed at interviews extolling the virtues of being drug free, the hardships of managing John Osbourne and Ozzy Osbourne, and the appeal of Adolf Hitler.

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