Glam-Racket Declared A No Frey Zone

Forgive me if I neglected to mention that The Eagles are nearly done with their new solo album, the first since The Long Run in 1979. According to Joe Walsh, the new album will feature a “new, different direction” and he stated that “It’s hard to compare to anything that I hear out there now.”
I’m willing to bet whatever Joe makes on the obligatory Eagles tour in 2008 that the new album is, essentially, the same shit that these drunken cokeheads dished throughout the seventies and is probably equal to most of the turds that pass for country music today.
A lot of my frustration is based on the simple fact that I understand that The Eagles are one of the most successful bands ever to walk the U.S. of A. and I understand that this is the reason why “country” artists outsell the artists of other genres; a lot of people like both of ‘em and, to my ears, there’s not a lot of difference between the two. In a world where everything has been segmented to death, The Eagles and the Eagles “sound” represents a safe haven for white Americans who miss the time when sweet harmonies, gentle melodies, and halfway clever songs managed to be the norm instead of the exception.
This is exactly the time of exception that Walsh is talking about when he said “It’s hard to compare to anything that I hear out there now.” Sure Joe, maybe in your out-of-touch world of playing with HAM radios and silly album titles, but whenever I listen to new country nowadays, all I hear is the fucking Eagles.
I don’t fault Joe, and I don’t fault people for liking The Eagles either; Hotel California, One Of These Nights and The Long Run were continual favorites of my parents growing up. But I do resent the actions of primary Eagle Don Henley for being a greedy little hypocrite for agreeing to reform the band after suggesting that he wouldn’t and then charge outrageous ticket prices when he didn’t need to simply on the notion that his ragtag band of everything wrong with the seventies were on the same level as The Beatles or The Stones. They are, you fuck, and I resent the fact that you backended your hippie ideology (remember the Walden Woods Project?) with a money-grubbing scheme that merely introduced an acoustic version of “Hotel California,” “Get Over It” and “Love Will Keep Us Alive” to the retards in the general public.
Why am I getting all worked up over The Eagles? Because, and it pains me to admit this, I actually liked a few solo records by Don Fucking Henley. There. I said it. I owned Building A Perfect Beast, enjoy the song “Dirty Laundry” and can sing every word to “The Heart Of The Matter” whenever I hear it while grocery shopping. It pains me to admit this, but I thought that Don Henley was a cool guy until Hell Freezes Over came out.
Supposedly, there’s some kind of deal where the new record will be marketed heavily in Wal Mart, which would clear-cut all of trees around Mr. Henley’s precious Walden Pond to put up a motherfucking Supercenter. I mean, Jesus, this dude just keeps making it easier to despise him!
And none of this will even register to the hundreds of thousands that will line up to buy whatever “new” material The Eagles put out, nor the millions who will line up to see these twelve step rejects perform “Seven Bridges Road” again, all the while, thinking about that night’s receipts and future tax shelters.
Do you wanna know why The Eagles are back together? It's because when they went solo, they were reduced to doing shit like this on their own.