Meet Totale's #1 Fan: Suit And Tie Guy

For some reason, a review that I wrote for Glorious Noise several months ago really upset a guy from Chillicothe, IL. The review was for Andre Williams’ Aphrodisiac, a fairly lackluster effort that I did not enjoy. Rather than reprint the entire review, let’s cut to the chase and just state that I wasn’t very nice about it.
The guy, a thirty-year old gentleman with a penchant for “Hammond organizing” and screen names that unwittingly namecheck an old Dirty Rotten Imbeciles’ song. Initially, he voiced his displeasure with an obligatory comment:

“Nice elitist review there, dickhead.
It so fucking happens that the Midwest and integrated bands cultivated groove jazz and your racist insinuation that the Diplomats lack credibility because they are white and from Iowa is completely uncalled for.
Also by mentioning "Booker T" because an organ happens to be present you demonstrate your lack of experience with the genre. You would probably use the term "Stockhausen" in a review of a Tangerine Dream album.”

And here’s my initial attempt at a restrained, yet swarmy reply:
“The Diplomats lack credibility may be because of their past. I'm hard pressed to understand why a band, whos members hail from over two decades worth of power pop/garage rock, can suddenly transform themselves into a "groove jazz" outfit and not expect to sound a little contrived. The fact remains that Aphrodisiac is a weak album with little inspiration on anyone's part who participated in it.And before you start being assumptive about my experience with the genre, why does nearly every article on the Diplomats (including their own press) list Booker T as an influence? Have 'em list some deeper catalog if you don't like the reference.And most of my Tangerine Dream reviews would probably read: "In der Kürze liegt die Würze."Nice D.R.I. reference too; I loved Dealing With It.”

As you can guess, Suit And Tie guy really took offense that I didn’t like Aphrodisiac and took even more offense that I poked fun at The Diplomats’ ethnicity (white) and their point of origin (Iowa). Here is the line that apparently made Suit And Tie Guy lose some sleep: “Williams teams up with The Diplomats of Solid Sound, a collective of Iowa music veterans with a penchant for Booker T & The MG-styled rhythm and blues. The results are what you would expect from a band of white guys from Iowa that have a Hammond Organ at their disposal.”

It bothered him so much that, over three months later, he posted the following on his own Live Journal site, strangely revisiting the Andre Williams review with a short piece I did here when I heard that Tony Wilson had cancer.
From Suit And Tie Guy’s Livejournal:

“white guys can't groove but joy division were gods.huh? check out what this music journalist blogger has to say about Tony Wilson's cancer:"One of these days, I'm going to get around to writing that massive undertaking of how fucking brilliant Joy Division were to me.And I just want Tony to be around to read it."this is the same twat that wrote this review, just in case you're wondering what I’m on about. this man is a racist who thinks that white men from Iowa can't play soul jazz, because they're white and from Iowa*:
*despite the fact that soul jazz is inherently a Midwestern, integrated music. “

Additionally, after posting on his own LiveJournal site, he visited here and decided to comment on the Tony Wilson post:

“I genuinely hope that Tony Wilson is kept alive just to read your brilliant prose. maybe your unwritten treatise on the glory of Joy Division could CURE CANCER!!!I'm doing an organ rental in your hometown on June 30th. why don't you come out, let me buy you a drink, and you can tell the Diplomats to their face what shit soul musicians you think they are, considering they're a bunch of white dudes.”

So as an elitist dickhead twat, I feel obligated to explain a few things. First of all, I was asked to do the Andre Williams review and, to be completely honest, was excited about it when I noticed that the Diplomats of Solid Sound were on it. The reason being: I’ve known head Diplomat Doug Roberson for over twenty years and thoroughly enjoyed his other musical endeavors. In fact, I didn’t mind D.S.S. when I saw them open for Wilco and didn’t mind some of the stuff I’ve heard from them while perusing around the internet.
When I first heard Aphrodisiac though, I was suddenly torn between reviewing an album that I disliked by a band fronted by a man that I respect very much.
I wrote what I believed and felt: that D.S.S., based in large part to the member’s individual lineage, didn’t have what it took to accurately translate themselves into a credible soul outfit.
So ultimately, I didn’t like the fucking album.
Rather than comment on why he disagreed, call me a name and then let the fucking issue drop, Suit And Tie Guy decided to carry on and creepily follow up and call me out again. The adult in me tells me to ignore my new drink-buying buddy from Chillicothe while my juvenilia encourages me to start a pointless online verbal volley with him.
A couple of minor points: Iowa City isn’t my hometown. My wife and I just had a baby, which means that I don’t get out much anymore (the kid’s formula is $25 a can, and with gas at $3/gallon, I can justify driving down to Iowa City to have a drink with a guy that refers to me as a “twat.” Plus, I get a strange vibe from you dude; The kind that really doesn’t think you’d want me to have a civil discussion with any member of D.S.S. about “soul jazz,” but would instead like to see some kind of physical confrontation.
Is that the way they settle things in Chillicothe, hoss?
I expect some shit to be thrown my way on the internet and I have no qualms about having you voice your opinions here, there, or on your own site. But the fact remains, and if I read your profile correctly, you’re like 30 years old, and you’re acting like I stood you up at the Homecoming dance.
You don’t like my shit? Fine. Make your funny and go on about tinkling your ivories. It’s a fucking blog; there’s like a million of ‘em out there, each one with their own opinions. Perhaps there’s a few of ‘em that may enjoy being called a twat.
And yes, that’s a picture of the Suit And Tie Guy that I gleaned from his website without permission. Yes, it’s same dude that called me a racist.