I.C.P. Announces Gathering Of The Juggalos 2011 Line Up

I've been brutal on Insane Clown Posse for quite some time, but I have to admit that their informercial for this year's Gathering of the Juggalos is better entertainment than any Two And A Half Men episode, and second only to the endless amount of Juggalo video uploads you can watch on You Tube at any given moment.

I don't want to suggest that I'm growing soft on these clowns (Ha!), but I do feel a bit sorry for their dim witted fan base who buy in-literally-on the band's endless explotation of them under the pretense of "family," "independence," and general lack of responsibility.

While I.C.P. get wealthier, their fans either fall into two categories: Juggalos who simply aren't smart enough to become more self-reliant by educating themselves towards a better life or Juggalos who like to pretend that it's all in good fund and any naysayers (i.e. "haters") are too stuck-up to get the "joke."

Where is punk rock when you need it?

It's the complete ambivilence of violence that bugs me the most, but hey, if you want to live your life worshipping a pair of bozos who trade in your outsider plight for a bit of overpriced merch and a logo that will ultimately have you labeled as dumb patsy for permanent entry-level jobs, then be my guest.

At least you could grow your mohawk out when you figured out the real power of human spirit.

But enough of my Dad talkin'. I've got to hand it to these hustlas for putting together an outrageous thirty-minute video that holds your attention like no other and gets you to burst out laughing at regular intervals.

In other words, if I.C.P. is looking for voice-over work for future infomercials, then I am totally down with the clown!

Funny Or Die Is Down With The Clown

The new season of Funny Or Die is on.

There's a new episode of the Juggalo News on it, which reminded me about this one:

Juggalo News - watch more funny videos

Video Footage Of Juggalo Revolutionaries

I have been riveted by the Tila Tequila attack at the Gathering of the Juggalos concert. I also think it’s hilarious that Method Man got nailed by a beercan in the face, was all “Imma sue you!” and now is ok with ICP.

All of it just screams of some kind of alternate reality where people think that it’s perfectly ok to do a show in front of social rejects who like to paint their face up like clowns.

And did I mention the band they follow are so below awful that they have their own category of shittiness.

When I see videos like this-two socially inadequate boys, desperate to find acceptance when it’s obviously not coming from home or from peers, I think that what ICP does for a living is more than just a shitty band. They are the worst kind of bullies, the kind that lie and tell you that they’re your friends right before they take your lunch money.

If you think that Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J give a shit about kids like those issuing pointless threats and making up unrealistic scenarios of future wealth and greatness, then you’re mistaken.

ICP wants these two to stay as outcasts and to view normalcy as the enemy. If they’re kept in that current state, they’re more opt to buy the shit that their marketing to them.

For me, I just want to tell them “It gets better, man! High school and all of the social bullshit that comes with it will go away in a few years. What you’re doing now will far outlast any nonsense that you’re experiencing at school.

Plus, you understand that when you put stupid shit like this on the fucking internet, you’re going to draw a lot more attention to your dumbass than if you’d just stay home, get high, play video games, and listen to a couple of Beatles albums.

Magic Everywhere In This Bitch...

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Fuckin' Magnets, How Do They Work?

I am fascinated by the Insane Clown Posse. I sincerely hope that some day, they come out and tell all the Juggalos "We did it all for the money, suckers!" Then, all of the Juggalos will get mad and kill them for taking them for a ride.
That's the only way that I.C.P. will die.
I'm convinced of it.
Because there is no way that rational people will view the Insane Clown Posse's latest song "Miracles" and think "Damn, this is really good."
Hear me when I tell you that "Miracles" isn't good...it's great.
But you know what I mean. It's the same thing when I tell you that Glitter, or Death Race 2000, or Plan 9 is great. It in no way means that I'm suddenly down with the clown.

And Daniel O'Brien just may be the best writer at Cracked because he's done a great piece on this song here and he's convinced me that I needed to add Tiptoes to my Netflix queue.