Tears Are Falling: Cat Power-"Colors And The Kids"

Hey, whaddya know. Chan Marshall hints that the new Cat Power album will be more of a solo affair instead of a band effort. Either way, Chan, you could shit on some magnetic tape and I would buy the cd and DVD of the results.
As a matter of fact, I did; it was called Speaking With Trees.
But let’s go back to the amazing Moon Pix and a little ditty called “The Color & The Kids” that gets the tear glands agitated.
No seriously, there’s something in my eye.
It sounds like the two things in life that keeps Chan from staying in the garage with the car running are 1.) Colors, those visual hues that we see unless we’re unfortunately colorblind and 2.) little munchkins between the ages of 2 and 12 that test our patience, dirty our carpet, and require you to wipe their ass for a couple of years.
As a parent, I understand the appeal, but this record was released before I began spraying semen everywhere, with the hopes of impregnating a willing partner.
Wait, bad analogy.
But I think you get the idea, there’s something about those little shits that get your heartstrings chiming.
“Colors And The Kids” is a heart-wrenching tale about someone with “slender arms” and “slender fingers,” the kind of person that you want to be with because they make you a fucking better person.
“I could stay here,” she says, but her voice breaks during the next line “Become someone different/I could stay here/Become someone better.”
How many times have you been in a relationship where you promise yourself that you’ll be able to change only to find out that all of your faults and idiosyncrasies are fucking permanent.
Like your hair color, the records in your collection, the way in which you eat M&Ms, they’re part of your fucking dna.
And it breaks my heart when I hear Chan plead in desperation. Because when the love that you want to keep doesn’t feel the same way, it’s hard to see the full list of your reasons for living.
But colors and kids is a start.

Tears Are Falling: Crystal Shawanda-"You Can Go Home"

Now that Iowa eked out a win against my Alma Mater, Northern Iowa, I can resume supporting the Hawkeyes’ endeavors for the rest of their reason. The only time I cannot in good faith support the Hawks is when they play against U.N.I. It’s a matter of principle. Northern Iowa took more of my money, so I’m inclined to support an organization that swindled me out of several thousand clams.
So I’m watching Iowa destroy the despicable Iowa State Cyclones, the third public university in our state. Iowa State is known for a few things: agricultural studies, veterinarian studies, and a yearly event called Veisha in which the I.S.U. students get drunk and combative with the Ames police department. Even after repeated warnings, the students at I.S.U. don’t seem to have enough sense to tone it down a notch just to make sure they don’t get tazered, jailed, and reprimanded for future Veisha events.
Anyway, Iowa is walking all over the Hawkeyes and on every commercial break there’s this spot-obviously a public service announcement-for values.com.
The ad features a song from country vocalist Crystal Shawanda. Her song “You Can Let Go” plays over a video showing a father teaching his daughter to ride a bike, followed by that father walking his girl down the aisle to get married and ending with the daughter visiting her dad who is now dying in a hospital bed. The running theme of the song and video is that the daughter first tells the father how he can let go-from the bicycle, giving her the freedom to roam without the need of her father’s protective grasp, to the wedding day, when the father relinquishes his hand to her new husband. In the end, it’s the daughter who tells the father that it’s ok for him to let go of life-that she’s ready to face the world without him. It’s that assurance, her acknowledgement that she’ll be ok and that he can pass on without worry, that ends the song and the video shows the girl-now older herself-shedding a tear as she remembers the events in her life when her father was beside her helping her grow into adulthood.
I’d never heard the song before that day and I’d never heard of the organization, values.com. A quick internet search finds that the website is part of the non-profit group The Foundation For A Better Life, an organization that was founded nine years ago to “promote values that [it] sees as positive.” It suggests that it is not affiliated with any religion and does not accept any donations from the public. Its sole purpose is to promote through the media, messages involving one of the 52 values that it identifies. The value that the “You Can Let Go” spot is promoting is “everlasting love.”
A deeper internet search shows that “The Foundation For A Better Life” is funded entirely by Philip Anschutz. Mr. Anschutz is a Kansas native who is currently ranked as the 31st wealthiest person in the United States. His wealth was created from oil, railroading, and most recently in telecommunications. He generally supports Christian Conservative causes, was a major donor of both George W. Bush campaigns, and has helped fund the Discovery Institute, a Seattle think tank that criticizes evolution.
Interestingly enough, Mr. Anschutz also has dabbled in the entertainment business. He was a producer for the movie Ray, a biography on the life of Ray Charles. Mr. Anschutz found that a lot of the movie’s drug use and sex was objectionable and ordered it removed.
Most recently, the Anschutz Entertainment Group-or AEG-was the promoter for Michael Jackson’s “This Is It” tour in England. Since Michael Jackson’s death put a halt to those plans, AEG was faced with the reality that they would need to refund a substantial amount of revenue generated from the pre-sale of these events. To overcome this, AEG recently unveiled plans to issue “souvenir tickets” to anyone who purchased “This Is It” tickets prior to Jackson’s death. Since the “This Is It” shows are the intellectual property of AEG, the company can go through with the plans, despite the protests of the Jackson family. AEG is hoping that up to 50% of the ticket holders will choose the “souvenir ticket” option as it will amount to over $40 million in savings for the company.
As cynical and sinister as this all sounds, I am not posting this information to point out how hypocritical the values.com ad was during my Hawkeye/Cyclone game. I bring this up only after going to the web site as the commercial suggests learning more about the organization that was BRINGING ME CLOSE TO TEARS while I was watching a fucking football game. Shouldn’t this ad be running during Oprah? Isn’t this more appropriate for the Lifetime network? Why am I muting the speakers during time out breaks for fear that I will begin bawling while that fake daughter holds the hand of her fake dying daddy?
Why I watch football, I want to swear, fart, and eat Sterzings Potato Chips with lots of French Onion dip. I don’t want to be reminded of my own mortality and later learn that the dude who’s providing the necessary money to make me cry was a major funder of one of the most valueless administrations in history.
I'm not going to embed the actual commercial; look for it if you want to cry. And the morons at BMG records won't let me embed the actual single-they don't want too many people to actually know about the song, I guess-so here's another clip of the chick who sings the song and what it sounds like. It's nowhere near the tear-enducing drama of that stupid ad, but it gives a little insight on Crystal Shawanda.
$10 bucks says her name is made up.

Tears Are Falling: Ice Cube-"Dead Homiez"

For real. I was so unprepared for Cube’s foray into real emotional expression that I practically started bawling the first time I heard this from the Kill At Will e.p. Throughout the extended play and for most of the full-length, AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted, Cube barks, spits, and sounds like a complete menace.
But before Are We There Yet, the first glimpse that we had of Ice Cube’s real humanity was through this song. Besides, if you punch someone in the face enough times, you start thinking they are a bully. If you get a chance to ask “Why’d you punch me?” You may get a glimpse of what prompted the aggression.
“Dead Homiez” is a glimpse into a world that no one would want to be a part of, and an important cautionary tale for any white suburban kid who views life in South Central with a bit of romanticism. These were real people dying. For nothing. And “Dead Homiez” brings that loss in full view. From the “screams from his mother” to the symbolic “pour beer on the curb before we take a swig” to the angry “why’s that the only time black folks get to ride in a limo?” “Dead Homiez” encapsulates a bunch of emotions within four minutes.
I’ve hardened a bit since the time that Kill At Will was released, and a lot of that has to do with Ice Cube’s career path since then. I know that people have to eat and that Cube couldn’t survive by being hard all the time; he’s too bright for that. But lately, his career choices seem-how did the kids used to say it-“whack.” For example, did you know that you could check out Cube at the 10th annual Insane Clown Posse convention?