You Wanted The Best, You Got The Shaft! KISS Vs. The Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame

Sorry. I took some time off to boycott winter.

Now that it’s Spring, let’s pick up with a Glam-Racket tradition: making fun of the band KISS.

You really didn’t think that I would be able to ignore the almost daily statements coming out of Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons concerning their Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction, did you?

To be honest, I almost did, as the two co-founders reluctance to perform with the other two co-founding members was nothing that would really surprise the most fair weather of KISS fans, so why comment on it.

But what’s different here is the constant barrage of whining complaints about the Rock Hall process, which has been a continual complaint by anyone who noticed how the RRHF overlooks certain genres and is managed by a few rich white boys with a limited view of rock music. Just because Gene and Paul have suddenly brought the hypocrisy into the spotlight once again doesn't mean that we have to listen, particularly since their own actions are riddled with hypocrisy too.  We have been talking about the lack of legitimacy and transparency in the RRHF for quite some time now and we will continue bitching about it long after these two wealthy men have hung up their platform shoes and worked out a retirement plan with whoever wants to assume the moniker for future KISS Army mouthbreathers.

Let’s begin there, where Paul Stanley suggested that KISS will continue long after he and Gene call it a day. His first ridiculous mistake is to suggest that the band KISS and the KISS corporation are two separate things. If he wants to hint that someone will be granted the authority to dress up like the band's characters and continue peddling KISS shows to whoever wants to don the makeup, then he should be able to understand that there are a lot of people who resent this idea, particularly those who are drawn to the original members that got this band rolling.

Gene and Paul can remind us all they want that it was their idea and their hard work that made it all possible, but to pretend that Ace and Peter are not entitled to a certain amount of higher praise than later "members" is extremely shortsighted. If he is really sincere about letting other people use the original member's make up scheme and appearance, then all of his phony baloney complaints about how other KISS members are deserving of a RRHF induction is suddenly irrelevant. He has every legal right to allow other people to continue on with his band’s image, but he doesn’t have the power to dictate to the rest of us how this line-up will be received, or how many more fans feel that it was the original members that made the band what they were.

Obviously, to anyone with an ounce of logic in their head recognizes that replacement members will only further taint the band’s reputation and secure the very real fact that the band’s brief output featuring Gene, Paul, Ace and Peter is the only part of KISS that's worth examining. And as someone who straight-up hates this band, I’m smart enough to recognize that this original line-up was hugely influential and deserves to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

What’s so disingenuous about Paul’s constant complaining is how he's suddenly incensed and has now assumed the role of the heavy. That has traditionally been Gene’s m.o.  He has a history of slighting Ace and Peter and questioning their contributions. To now point out how these two members were often m.i.a. for much of the line-up’s later records is silly, particularly since Paul and Gene signed off on trying to pull the wool over their fans by suggesting that Ace and Peter were still active members when the liner notes told otherwise. To only now fess up to their diminishing contributions and continually suggest that their roles weren’t essential to building the “product” is childish. There is nobody in their right mind that will suggest that Lick It Up, Revenge or Sonic Boom is as influential as Destroyer or Rock and Roll Over or that posters of Tommy Thayer and Vinnie Vincent line the bedroom walls of rock and roll fans around the world.

Besides, both Gene and Paul have cock-blocked Vincent’s contributions and for years have suggested that his role in rebuilding KISS during the mid-80’s unmasked period was not pivotal. The very reason that he left the camp was because Gene and Paul never allowing him to be a true member even when his material was essential in providing the band with their first gold record since Unmasked, even without makeup. Even Eric Carr, the drummer they love to refer to and eulogize was never a full fledged member of KISS’ and never received full corporate authority with any of their licensing opportunities. They were paid to play, and anything with a logo at the merch table helped fund only two parties: Gene and Paul. So why on earth are they now whining about not allowing anyone besides the original line-up into the RRHF when they didn’t even offer these people full membership to begin with?

For many years, Paul seemed to be the most rational of the two, particularly in regards to white-washing Ace and Peter’s struggle with addictions and in acknowledging their contributions. Gene was usually the one who brought up the stories of their abuse and lack of creative input, which is ironic considering how Gene himself checked out during most of the 80’s, leaving Paul alone to entertain his commercial drive, usually with outside help.

Now, it seems that the roles have reversed: Gene seems almost amiable when discussing the possibility of Ace and Peter joining him and Paul onstage for a song or two.  Paul, on the other hand, goes ballistic at being told by the Hall of who is being honored and who isn't. Stanley seems bent out of shape that he wasn't consulted in all of this, and how the Hall wasn't interested in having the current configuration of the band perform during the ceremonies. Of course, Paul has a new autobiography that’s out, so it appears that all of his fucking commentary is just another way to build interest for his pocketbook, never mind the fact that his band is now comprised of two poseurs who are merely hired hands.

Stanley likes to use the Grateful Dead as an example of how unfair the RRHF has been to KISS and their desire to put on the makeup with their two staff members and play during the induction ceremony. But nobody gives a shit about the current configuration of KISS, so why not just admit that you’ve run your logo into the ground, be a man and take the honor without performing, an honor-by the way-that you fucking owe to the poor saps that lobbied hard on your behalf?

All of Gene and Paul’s talk about how their fans are the most important thing has been sullied by this entire fiasco. You could tell that the two were hurt after being overlooked for so many years, but as soon as they get in-under the condition that only the original membership gains entrance-they pout and take their toys and go home. I believe that I even read where one of them dared to suggest that the RRHF would be making money from KISS’ legacy, so why would they allow the Hall’s leadership to dictate how their band was going to be presented?

How about the fact that all of the band’s archives are only taking up space in a warehouse at the moment, draining Gene and Paul’s pocketbooks in rental fees when they could be placed in a venue designed to display them, in turn building up interest in the band and opening wallets in return. But neither KISS member likes the idea of someone else mucking up the supply chain of KISS dipping directly in their fan’s pocketbooks.

Need proof?

Walk up to Simmons in an unauthorized KISS t-shirt and ask him to autograph something. Changes are he’ll refuse based upon the origins of your attire and then browbeat you how you’re not a real fan by wearing a knockoff.

They also aren't very good at planning a business model beyond what's happening with their next, immediate product. After that, well it's just Paul Stanley talking a bunch of horseshit (does he really think fans are going to pay top dollar for an officially licensed cover band?) and Gene Simmons reminding us all how he's smarter, wealthier, and more promiscuous than the rest of us.

The band's immediate plans are a summer tour with Def Leppard, a package deal that enables them to capture an audience that might consider dropping $75 for a good seat to see both bands, but certainly not for one as the only headliner. I mean my wife saw Lep at a frigging county fair a few days after the boy was born, and that was nearly 11 years ago.

If KISS thinks that all of these incessant press releases that Gene and Paul keep issuing are going to translate into more ticket sales, then they are mistaken. For all of this talk to try an legitimize the band's current line up or to build any kind of sympathy for Stanley's bullshit concern for all of the other band members hired hands, they are merely showing how greedy and  ego-driven they are by pretending that they are anything but a brand that based more on their history than any current creative output.You see a lot of references to the band's 40th anniversary, but let's be honest here: those four decades continue to pull from the original line up years quite heavily.

All they had to do was play nice for a night. Christ, they could have easily just gathered at the end of the performance for a one-off version of "Rock & Roll All Night" and then gone their separate ways. Instead, Simmons and Stanley needed to make it a fighting match after they've already won and gotten exactly what they wanted. Rather than confront the anger and bitterness for a mere three minutes and thirty seconds as a thank you to those fans that brought them out of their shitty little existence that was Wicked Lester, they piss on their own food supply.

Fuck KISS.

Take it back and give it to The Zombies.

The 2013 Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremony

I don’t need to rehash the obvious: the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is a sham, devoid of credibility and of questionable character.

It’s one thing to bitch and complain about it on a blog, or even to publicly challenge the Hall like Eddie Trunk does at every opportunity, correctly questioning why the RRHOF continually ignores progressive and metal acts in their yearly inductions.

But it’s another thing when Quincy Motherfucking Jones publicly challenges the Hall, right on its stage and on the same night that he is being inducted.

If you’re pissed enough to completely tune out any marketing event that the Hall creates-like HBO’s 2013 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony-then you have more will than I. In my mind, it’s worth watching, if not for the live performances then at least for the speeches, some of which are surely bound to create a stir.

Quincy Jones doesn’t create “stirs,” he initiates changes. More to the point, are we about to see a shift in the Rock Hall’s future inductions based on Mr. Jones’ very clear points about honoring the vast number of pre-rock artists that our responsible for nearly every level of what the Hall is supposed to represent.

Will we now see some of these artists lining the hallowed halls of…wait…who the fuck cares?

Which is exactly the point Jones was trying to make. Instead of being this yearly masturbatory event, what if the Hall was actually attempting to support the recognition of how vital our indigenous music is to this nation.

The words of Quincy Jones, as was his induction speech by Oprah Winfrey, was the evening’s most poignant moment-and most important. It was a challenge to Jann Wenner to raise the bar beyond the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame™ brand name, and we’ll see if he heeds the very clear Mission Statement that Mr. Jones was suggesting.

Because when you take a long look at the path that the Hall is on, there will become a point where music loses its ability to touch those that may need it the most. Quincy recalled his own moment of clarity and how that moment was a life and death decision for him. The promotion of music should be a priority for the Hall, if only for the recognition of its own self-interest.

The HBO broadcast unfortunately showed us how much our heroes and stars have aged. Jones is frail, Harry Belafonte used a cane to approach the podium to help induct Public Enemy, and even Randy Newman suggested that the rock and roll stage was filled with artists of “gray hair and width.” It would have resonated better if he hadn’t brought his friend Don Henley on stage to sing the old-and-in-the-way anthem “I’m Dead (But I Don’t Know It).”

Hell, even Jackson Browne is beginning to show signs of aging.

But I guess being “indicted” as everyone kept referring to it throughout the evening as an aging contributor is better than being inducted after you’re dead, which was the case of two performers.

Out of those two posthumous entries-Albert King and Donna Summer-only Summer seemed like a charity case, with the disco diva’s induction coming only after not making the cut when she was still alive.

As much as I appreciate her talents and material, I still have a hard time accepting members of a genre that was once viewed as the antithesis of rock and roll. Admittedly, the over-the-top hyperbole of Steve Dahl’s “Disco Demolition Night” on a warm Chicago night in July of ’79 is a bad thermometer of actual evidence, you have to appreciate that Comiskey Park was overflowing with people (during a time when the White Sox couldn’t get more than 15,000 fans on a traditional evening) who clearly felt enough hatred towards disco music to disrupt a night of America’s pastime.

But in 2013, we now admit the genre’s most successful artist into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, while only one album-Bad Girls-qualifies as anything remotely similar to rock and roll.

To Quincy Jones’ point, I’m totally cool with cats like Count Basie getting inducted over Donna Summer. At least it’s justifiable.

“Albert King is the reason that guitarists break high E strings” is how John Mayer described the legendary guitarist Albert King, who finally got his induction. While I’m not a follower of Mayer’s music, I appreciated his history lesson during the induction speech and got a kick out of Gary Clark Jr’s performance of King’s material, even though the solo dual between him and Mayer ended up becoming an exercise of what not to do, particularly after you’ve seen that video footage of King and Stevie Ray Vaughn duking it out in a friendly spar of solos.

Mayer is spot-on in his assessment, as a guitar player of extremely limited skill, I can admit to housing a few extra E strings in the guitar case for this exact reason.

I can also admit that I’ve attempted to use the “Albert King tuning” on a few attempts, thinking that it would assist in bettering my guitar abilities as a player who plays a right-handed instrument with their left hand.

It made me sound worse.

To hear Albert King’s playing is to understand how powerful the instrument can be, as it turned a big, six-foot-four, two-hundred and sixty pound giant into an emotional bundle of bent notes and heart-wrenching solos. He is missed, and now he is recognized.

The Lou Adler induction was a hoot.

The Heart induction wasn’t.

While my feelings on disco run one way, I’m totally cool with rap artists being inducted. It is a genre that is a part of the same origin as rock and roll music and it has become a critical element in youth culture, often cross-pollinating with the genre to where the walls between them are paper-thin anyway.

I can remember the moment when I heard Public Enemy’s “Sophisticated Bitch” in college, and then, not more than a year later, I heard It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back and became frightened of them.

Not frightened in a bad way, but frightened in the same way that I saw punk music in my early teenage years. Music can reflect scary things, and not just in an Alice Cooper way. They can reflect things that don’t shed a very positive light on society, and we can ultimately become better people as a result of listening to their discord.

Public Enemy’s discord served as much as a wake up call to white America as it did in channeling the anger and frustration of African Americans. To hear Chuck D’s speech was special, but for me, the most awesome moment was hearing him utter, “Elvis was a hero to most, but he never meant shit to me!” on the same platform where Presley is ground zero of the genre that is rock and roll.

The progressive rock collective was granted its second entry, thanks to the tireless support of their fans and the fact that the band has now been around so long that you can help but admit, “Rush is pretty fucking awesome.”

Dave Grohl was right when he said that “Rush has always been cool” but there were moments when their material was certainly far from it. That’s no excuse for the fact that it should not have taken the Hall this long to acknowledge their influence.

Grohl and his wife Taylor Hawkins were the perfect fit for Rush’s speech, channeling the band’s penchant for humor and self-deprecation in a completely appropriate manner.

Rush then admitted that getting into the Hall was kind of a big deal for them with Neil Peart using his talents to pen a very heartfelt speech, while providing little explanation for why his nose was a completely different color than the rest of his face.

Meanwhile, Geddy Lee also failed to acknowledge why his nose was actually bigger than the rest of his face. He did correctly (and admirably) determine that it was the fans who were probably the biggest reason the band was even on the stage that evening.

And then guitarist Alex Lifeson gave what was probably seen as the most bizarre acceptance speech in Hall history, while anyone familiar with the band understands that humor is a big part of the trio’s longevity.

 

"Blah Blah Blah"

Lifeson gave a speech without even saying a word, removing language and replacing it with “blah blah blah” while acting out the emotions of the story of their journey into the Rock Hall that evening.

The Grohl-led Rush cover band (complete with 1975 era kimonos) was hilarious and the Rush suite of “Tom Sawyer” and “Spirit of the Radio” probably accounted for the closest thing that actually resembled “rocking” during the entire evening.

Rush’s induction was probably the most anticipated part of the evening, even the all star jam at the end of the evening (complete with more Flavor Flav vamping and an obligatory Tom Morello guitar solo-the dude seems to really gunning for Rage’s first year induction) seemed tepid compared to Rush’s by-the-numbers arena bombast.

The evening ended just like most other induction ceremonies: with a very tentative jam of everyone trying to make something transcendent in an impossible situation.

Regardless, at least Rush is in the dump and at least Q gave Wenner a much needed run over the coals. Whether or not he has the moral compass to actually heed those words is another matter, but one thing is for certain: Deep Fucking Purple better be in the place next year.

The 2011 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Nominees

It’s an annual pastime-when the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame nominees are announced and then we all bitch about them and whine how our favorites aren’t included.

When will people understand that the RARHOF is merely a short list popularity contest that’s narrowed down further by a handful of rich dudes who ultimately answer to one Jann Wenner.

But Jann can be and has been overruled. How can you explain the Dave Clark Five’s admission into the hall. So maybe the Kiss and Rush fans can take a look at DC5’s lobbying committee to find out a plan for their success.

Make it quick because I’m tired of hearing you guys whine.

And it’s not that I’m down with their admission.

They both deserve to be in the Hall of Fame for sure.

It’s just that as long as you understand that the RARHOF is not a democracy and is not based on either commercial or critical merit, you will be disappointed on a yearly basis that these chuckleheads are completely out of touch with reality or logic.

It’s merely a good old boys club in the truest sense of the word.

So I’m changing it to merely add an opinion to the nominations and hope that someday the RARHOF will get their head out of their ass.

Joan Jett
“Cherry Bomb” is the number one song on my playlist according to last.fm, but you won’t find me lobbying for them to be included instead of solo Joan Jett. They weren’t very good and “Cherry Bomb” finds itself as the most played song only because my daughter would request it incessantly. Joan’s album output is choppy, but you cannot comprehend how popular “I Love Rock & Roll” was unless you were there in the summer of 1980 hearing it played every hour on nearly every other radio station. It was a song so epic that Jett gets a pass on getting into the Hall on her first attempt.

Rufus with Chaka Khan
Here’s where the guidelines at the Hall need to be addressed. Do we allow other genres other than rock gain entrance or do we allow some artists that may have influenced rock instead of actually being a part of the genre itself. Think deeply, because that may mean that Prince or Sly Stone wouldn’t get inclusion even though there awesome. And so is Rufus with Chaka Khan, but are they rock?.

Laura Nyro
When you have supporters like David Geffen and Clive Davis, you’re a shoo-in to the RARHOF.

Donna Summer
Love Donna Summer, but she isn’t rock and roll-even if you’re trying to make the case with Bad Girls.

Heart
They deserve to be first year nominees, but probably won’t get in on their first try simply because Wenner and company viewed them as Zeppelin followers (which they were and were quite good at it) with a pair of ladies for marketing appeal. Whatever. Little Queen is a classic and even that first record is considered a classic by some. If you overlook the band’s lame MTV period, those first few albums should seal their entrance. In a perfect world, at least.

Guns ‘N Roses
Holy shit, are they up?! Man I feel old! Aside from it being way too early, GnR will get first nomination acceptance into the Hall on the sheer fact that Appetite is one of those albums that changed the landscape of music. By prolonging the inevitable, there might have been a better chance of the original line-up getting on stage again.

Red Hot Chili Peppers
I followed the Chili Peppers up until Blood Sugar Sex Magic. I couldn’t tell you if any of their other stuff afterwards is any good. Up to that album, the Chili Peppers were a pretty good band-Uplift Mofo Party Plan was the shit in college-but I wouldn’t go so far as to say they were a great band. That would have been Fishbone. Let’s put them in first before we start talking about RHCP.

The Cure
Got to be in. Do you know how important this band is to the legion of eyeliners? Plus their early shit and mid-to-late 80’s shit is awesome. Sure, in a perfect world it’d go Roxy Music, Joy Division, Siouxsie and the Banshees, then the Cure, but my generation will take any scraps that Jann Wenner throws to us.

Eric B. & RakimI
know nothing beyond Paid In Full. Does Rap music belong in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame? For some reason, I have no problem with Run-DMC and Public Enemy being in there. De La Soul too.

Beastie Boys
Wow. Do the Beasties get a pass? Is it racist to think Beasties “Yes” and Eric B. & Rakim “No?” I’m inclined to say let them in based on the fact that a lot of rock ‘n roll knuckle draggers played Licensed To Ill out the wazoo. I hated them for that album. Then I fell in love with them for Paul’s Boutique. And Paul’s Boutique is so good that it almost makes the argument for automatic inclusion. True story: I got confirmed last week and in our little speeches in front of the Bishop, a lady about my age began her speech with “As the Three Wisemen…the Beastie Boys…once said” and then quoted a lyric from them. Kinda cool.

The Spinners
The Spinners were the first concert I ever went to. The brought out big rubber bands for “Rubberband Man” and had a huge Leslie rotating speaker that tripped out my 10-year-old mind. It was at Six Flags and I’m sure my parents used the event as a rest period. I would have preferred going on the Screamin’ Eagle again and I’m not sold that The Spinners belong in the RARHOF.

Small Faces/Faces
Sure. Might as well put Humble Pie up there too. Seriously.

War
I don’t know what to say about War. Why Can’t We Be Friends is a perfectly fine album and I have no complaints about their work with Eric Burdon. I would be happier with The Animals’ inclusion instead of War. Just sayin’…

Donovan
I’m not good at this one thanks to a strong dislike of Donovan. Recommend some records to examine if you think I’m missing the boat. Otherwise, I’ll continue to view Donovan as a Dylan wanna-be who grew into a more psychedelic artist, responsible for the atrocious “Atlantis.” To be fair, I do enjoy a few songs, but I wouldn’t consider them HOF material.

Freddy King
Again, no issue with Freddy King-but I wish they had specific criteria that explains how roots stars are eligible. Even then, you have to ask “Is Freddy King on the same level of Robert Johnson, Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters, etc-those blues acts that were automatically included based on their role in the development of the rock genre. I don’t think Freddy-or any of the “Three Kings” qualifies for this, even though they may have been influential to some rock artists.

All About Soul, the 2010 Rock Hall Nominees, and that asshole Billy Joel

My Dad brought up the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame concert to me over the weekend, completely unapologetic in his fondness for the proceedings. “You know me,” he said, “I don’t know anything about today’s music, so I like it when those old guys get together and do those old classics.”
We laughed at how my Mom thought the audience was yelling “Boo!” when Lou Reed came out on stage.
I praised how Iggy and the Stooges are now in the HOF while questioning why Abba should even be allowed it.
I told my Dad about Rage Against The Machine guitarist Tom Morello.
You read that right.
It was my Dad who asked about him. “Who was that guitarist playing with Springsteen?”
“Tom Morello. He’s in Rage Against The Machine.”
“Man, he is good!” my Dad admired. “I don’t know any of his stuff. Is it worth anything? What is ‘Rage Against The Machine’ like?”
“They’re this lefty revolutionary heavy rock band. They’re pretty full of themselves.” I explained.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah,” I continued, “I don’t know what to think of a band that encourages everyone to ‘rage’ against corporations while signing a contract with Sony, one of the planet’s biggest corporations.”
I went on to explain my whole thing about Abba and the Hall, which I’ll revisit now.
I’ve got no quarrel with Abba, in fact, I kind of like them. Oh sure, I was a kid when they were making hits in the late 70’s and I had an opinion about them then too. You see, I was a big “disco sucks” kid, which was really just a way to align myself with some of the older, rocker kids in the neighborhood. I didn’t have anything against disco, but it took a few years to admit that.
Fast forward to Abba Gold. The radio station got a copy of it and since we didn’t play Abba anyway, I got to take the disc home.
Feeling a bit nostalgic, I put the disc in and pressed play. For over an hour, I was able to recite song lyrics that I hadn’t heard in well over a decade. Song titles that I didn’t recognize sudden became familiar the moment I heard the song. Even in hatred, Abba had successfully planted their music into my head where they took up permanent residence. You have to admire a band that can do that.
But the thing I discovered about Abba was within their arrangements. They sounded unique and I’ve yet to find another band that is comparable to the way in which their songs were arranged.
It’s because they seldom used traditional R&B arrangements in their records, one of the primary ingredients of rock and roll. Listen closely and you’ll hear similarities with European classical music but very little in terms of the two basic ingredients of modern-era pop hits: R&B and C&W.
As a result, Abba belongs nowhere in the halls of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame because they don’t fulfill a basic necessity of that honor: rock.
It looks like Iggy is finally on the way in, even though it’s a bunch of shit that they’ll make it after Ashton died.
Kiss is stirring up interest, but before they even touch that band, the Hall needs Alice Cooper in.
And as always, not even a peep about Rush.
The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame concert? It may have pleased my Dad to no end, but for me it looked like a bunch of phoned in performances by a few artists who haven’t tried hard in quite a while. It was a spectacle of entitlement, a set list by people who looked like half the milestone was getting signatures on the performance contracts.

Someone needs to tell Billy Joel to shut the fuck up. For real, the dude hasn’t written a new tune in years (and that classical shit doesn’t count either, dude. You and I both know that’s only your ego talking, that the dude who started in a silly hard rock duo called Attila has no place tinkling the ivories on classic gas), hasn’t written a decent album since Glass Houses (sorry, The Nylon Curtain sounds like it was written by overdramatic college freshman who probably got his ass beat by a few rubbernecks from Allentown) and who’s penned three of the worst songs ever written in the past 50 years (“We Didn’t Start The Fire,” “Leave A Tender Moment Alone,” and “All About Soul”).
Fuck you, Billy Joel. Nice one on letting your (then) old lady paint your album cover. Did you look at that thing before you sent it off to the art department at Columbia?
Anyways, the Hall of Fame is a joke, the concert sucked, and Billy Joel’s a douchebag.

50th Anniversary of The Day The Music Died

50 years ago today, three pioneers of rock played a gig in a small Iowa town during a cold, snowy night. Early the next morning, the three boarded a small Beechcraft Bonanza plane and attempted to fly to their next gig scheduled in Moorhead, Minnesota. Shortly after take-off, the plane crashed in a nearby cornfield, killing The Big Bopper, Ritchie Valens, and Buddy Holly. Don McLean called it “the day the music died” in his 1971 hit “American Pie.”
When that song was on the charts, my Father told me the story of the plane crash. This was around the same time that he also told me about the death of Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison, and Janis Joplin. All of those figures, along with the three that perished on that cold February evening, became entrenched in my memory of rock ‘n roll myth. They were the fallen heroes, the saints of rock and I felt an obligation to respect them and their memories.
It struck me as a bad omen that the three had died in Iowa. I was too young to understand, but it seemed logical to me that the reason people as famous as Buddy Holly didn’t perform in Iowa any more was because they were afraid to end up like Buddy Holly: dead in a cold Iowa cornfield.
I’ve never been to the Surf Ballroom in Clear Lake, Iowa. It looks awesome and, occasionally, they get some decent performers there. I’m sure a lot of them are drawn to the history of it, even though Holly’s stop there on February 2, 1959 was a last minute edition to the “Winter Dance Party” tour. The Surf wasn’t on the original itinerary, but when the promoter noticed an open day, he called The Surf and asked if they could add the stop to their agenda. The ballroom said “yes” of course.
When I was getting ready to ask my wife to marry me, I thought about doing it at The Surf. This is something that I’m sure she doesn’t know about, but I noticed that Shooter Jennings was performing at The Surf. I considered writing his management company to ask if Shooter might let me on stage to pose the question before, after or during his set. Shooter’s Father Waylon, in case you didn’t know, was a member of Holly’s band during the 1959 performance. He gave up his seat on the plane to the Big Bopper who was suffering from the flu and told Buddy before he left that he hoped the plane crashed.
Imagine the guilt he faced when he heard the news.
Anyway, Shooter cancelled the date and I was forced to pose the question in another manner. It was at her parent’s house if you must know, and it was done in a pretty awesome manner I must say, but The Surf idea would have been a little more my style.
The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame recently honored The Surf Ballroom as one of the most historic rock locations in America. It would have been nice if The Surf was known for something a little less tragic, but because of the events fifty years ago, it’s known as the last place that Buddy Holly ever performed.

Open Letter To Iggy Pop

Dear Iggy:
I got a chance to see you and the rest of the Stooges the other night on the 2008 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame ceremonies. You looked good, I mean you always look good, but you looked better than usual for some reason. Did they put some make up on you? I’m just asking.
Anyway, I originally thought the idea of Madonna inviting you, a fellow Michigan badass, to perform on stage instead of her was kind of cool. It was like she was acknowledging that you should have been inducted before her, which I totally agree with.
But I started to feel differently. She lives in England, which shouldn’t mean anything I know, but I get this incredible feeling of pretentiousness when I see Madge lately. And when I placed that feeling with the vision of you on stage singing her songs, it looked like she was pleased with her selection of white trash minstrels, punking up the festivities like it was somehow relevant.
It isn’t anymore, and you above anyone else should understand this.
So I’m not sure of the motivation here, because Madonna’s past has been littered with people who have served her well before getting disposed of after they’ve served their purpose.
I’m not suggesting that she’s some kind of succubus and, having read I Need More, I’m confident that you can handle yourself around the ladies. I just think the idea was a poor one and the performance itself was shitty.
I’m starting to worry about you.
It started with that album that you did with Good Charlotte or whoever, and then it really magnified itself with that piece of shit Stooges reunion album that shouldn’t have gone beyond the drawing boards or at the very least, the obligatory reunion tour.
The last few years have started to feel like that incredibly awful dry spell that was most of the 80’s with you and I’m concerned that you’re thinking about calling up Don Was again for another round. With that being said, even that album is better than The Weirdness.
So if you need some free career advice Jimmy, I’m your man. Let’s face it: you’re not getting younger and there is a shelf life to all of this as I’m sure your body is beginning to tell you. It is critical that you start exiting with a keen eye on your legacy instead of potentially ruining it with ill-advised reunions, frighteningly bad late-period albums, and just plain silly cameos for institutions that haven’t even acknowledged your greatness yet.
It’s only a matter of time, probably this year in fact, when you’ll finally make the cut. But really, who gives a shit at this point? Fuck Jann Wenner! Get your head out of the Carnival Cruise Line and back into the trailer!
Your pal,
Todd Totale

40 Years After The Death Of Otis Redding

You may have missed it, but today is “Otis Redding Day” in our neighboring state of Wisconsin. Madison, specifically, has the unfortunate designation of being the location where Redding’s plane crashed in the icy waters of Lake Monona on this day 40 years ago. Redding, his manager, the pilot, and all but two members of his backing band Bar-Kays perished in the crash.
Redding’s widow and the sole survivor of the crash, Bar-Kays trumpet player Ben Cauley, were in Madison recently to mark the occasion and to join the mayor and state’s governor in a proper declaration event. It must have been especially difficult for Cauley, who hasn’t visited the town since being pulled from the watery wreckage.
One of the most memorable and moving things I saw at the Rock & Roll Hall was an actual piece of the plane on display. To be that close to the implement that killed a man still accending towards stardom was pretty intense.
Redding was one of those icons that became fabled in my mind because of an early death. Otis shared his martyrdom with Jimi, Janis, and Jim, but he has managed to increase in stature with me while Joplin and Morrisson have taken a diminished role.
Part of that reason is that I hadn’t been oversaturated with Otis Redding material. I mean, everyone’s heard “(Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay,” but then when you hit the stuff like “Try A Little Tenderness,” “Mr. Pitiful,” “I’ve Been Loving You Too Long,” “Knock On Wood,” and so many other tracks that never received much mainstream radio play, you really begin to understand the loss that took place on December 10, 1967.

Freak Out! The 2008 Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame Nominees Are...

Visiting the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame was an awesome experience, and it's important to consider the Hall based entirely on the exhibits you'll see.
After all, you probably wouldn't even consider visiting the Hall if all you had to motivate you was the incredibly thinning nominees and the glaringly absent artists who's cultural significance far outweigh their sales significance.
It’s gotten to the point where the nominees are turning into head-scratching moments and artists that you’d never associate with “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Nominee.”
And the contenders for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, class of 2008 are:

• Afrika Bambaataa
• Beastie Boys
• Chic
• Leonard Cohen
• The Dave Clark Five
• Madonna
• John Mellencamp
• Donna Summer
• The Ventures

Now, believe it or not, I don’t have a problem with Madonna on that list. I understand how polarizing she can be among rock aficionados and I get that “Madonna” and “rock,” when using the most stringent of terminologies, probably wouldn’t qualify as a well thought out choice.
But fuck it; as provocative as Madonna was, she deserves inclusion based on the sole fact that there wasn’t a more feared entertainer than her since Elvis
No, for me the curious thing is: What the fuck are Chic doing on there? Donna Summer?
And yes, what about the Dave Clark Five?
To be honest, I don’t even think Beastie Boys deserve to be there yet. At the very least, they should be placed on hold until Paul’s Boutique turns twenty five.
John Mellencamp? Ditto. You’ve got to hold the dude to at least a quarter century off of Scarecrow; everyone knows that the shit before that was pretty weak.
Afrika Bambaataa and Leonard Cohen are both token entries, meant to appease those who want to lend a little bit of critically acclaimed with their dirtyass rock and roll. I’ve never heard an album by either artist truly rock, but if you’ve gotta throw in Madonna, I suppose you got to throw in a few extra for the college station Music Director too.
The Ventures? What the hell. Leave them on. Hell, they had Mosrite guitars named after them, so sure, let these instrumental kings walk, don’t run to the podium.
But for me, the class of 2008 would have looked like this:

• Alice Cooper (band)
• The Stooges
• New York Dolls
• Rush
• Captain Beefheart