Saturday, June 15, 2013

GG Allin Creates Controversy Beyond The Grave With 'My Prison Walls'

Again, I need to preface by declaring GG Allin a talentless bozo who swindled a handful of hipsters to a point where he slogged out a career by eating poop and beating up audience members, all under the pretense of "art."

Have you ever listened to a GG Allin record? It's awful.

And when the shit-flinging and violence only dried up his tour revenue (Surprise! No one wants to book a show that ends with you having to deal with the cops and wondering how you're going to get reimbursed for a feces-covered Sure SM57 microphone at the end of the night), Allin adapted and upped the rhetoric to the point where he got coverage on a new media outlet: shock talk shows.

He kept suggesting that he would kill himself on stage someday...and take some audience members with him...a threat that never came because he was too much of a junky to get a plan together and too stupid to understand that nobody was ever going to let him carry out such a threat.

GG Allin died in the most spectacularly unspectacular way, and as his death got farther and farther away in time, so did the need to discuss his career or incredibly worthless musical catalog.

As we approach the 20th Anniversary of Allin's death, a very business-savvy company has determined that there are at least 2,500 schmucks out there that would be interested in a hard-cover edition of Allin's jailhouse musings.

For those of you not up to speed, GG Allin went to jail in the late 80's for beating the shit out of, sexually assaulting, and kidnapping a young woman after a performance. The girl was a "fan" of his music and Allin claims the incident(s) were consensual, but you know, he threw poop at people, so how is there any credibility to anything the man said?

They will have no trouble selling out this book, so get it while you can if you're more tolerant of GG Allin than I am. For anyone else, here's what you'll miss by not securing your copy:

  • GG Allin masturbated a lot while in jail.
  • GG Allin drew lots of self-indulgent pictures of himself while in the clink, most featuring a much larger penis than what he had in real life.
  • GG Allin masturbated a lot while looking at his own big penis portraits of himself.
Still with me?

Fine, here's the poop on this limited edition turd:

It was a dark and stormy night, so I took out my small penis and stroked it.
2013 marks the 20th anniversary of the death of GG Allin, the most notorious Rock N Roll artist of all time. For the first time ever, Allin's prison-era memoirs have been compiled in "My Prison Walls", a 208 page hardcover numbered limited edition collector's book that contains letters, illustrations, prose, and Allin's own personal accounts of his time spent in prison. It is limited to 2500 numbered copies.
The book begins with Allin's "30 Days In The Hole" his journal, in his own handwriting, detailing his first days in lock up. This comprises the first 50 pages of the book and gives the reader a first-hand account of Allin's mindset at the time. In addition, there are over 40 pieces of art and prose by Allin, plus correspondence with his family members, convicted serial killer John Wayne Gacy, Jeff Clayton of ANTiSEEN, and many others.
This book cover is wrapped in black saifu cloth and decorated / titled in red foil blood stamping. Each book is individually numbered and shrink-wrapped for protection and preservation. After the 2500 copies have been sold, the book will not be re-printed. In this sense, it is a true collector's item for any fan of GG Allin or the history of Rock N Roll music.
For more NSFW information on this, visit Vice.

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