Have You Seen Junior's Grades?

Might as well jump...

Here's a real life email that I sent to my son's 4th grade teacher after she reported to my wife and I that he was acting tired and "out of it" in class and neglecting his homework duties.

We spoil our kids to no end in the Totale household, and this is undoubtedly part of the problem. They control our televisions and claim to have no homework while my wife and I disengage in our respective Kindles, laptops, and smart phones on the couch.

It's the American Dream, and we can only be interrupted when someone reaches us through one of those aforementioned devices.

So here was my response to my son's teacher, who we'll change the name of, because it's the internet and there's creepy people afoot.

Mrs Kotter:

My wife forwarded me your email and we have had conversations with E regarding his recent behavior and inconsistencies with his assignment book. At home, he has demonstrated ambivalence towards his school work and appears tired and a bit impatient with others. We did discover an incident of minor bullying that took place at Kids Corporate Conglomerate Inc. after school last week, but that issue has apparently resolved on its own and was not that significant. 

E denied that this matter had anything to do with his recent behavior and seemed surprised that any changes were noticed in him at all. Nonetheless, he committed to focusing more on addressing his “job,” which is to complete all school-related duties immediately when coming home for the day in order to enjoy the many privileges that he is allowed (television, gaming, internet, etc). 

He also understands that if he does not meet the expectations that you have for him, then some of these privileges may be lost. Of course, we will need your feedback if you continue to witness a problem with submitting his assignments on time as we will do our part in making sure it is a higher priority in our nightly schedule.

Finally, one private matter concerning his tiredness. His younger sister often requested to sleep with him on nights where she had trouble getting to sleep. These requests soon became the norm, to the point where we began to insist that they sleep in their own rooms after his sister came down with a cold. Ironically, it is now E who seems to be suffering from her absence as he has suggested that it is harder to get to sleep without her in the same bed. 

To help, I put up my huge poster of Bruce Springsteen’s Born In The USA cover on his bedroom wall, the very same one  that I had in my bedroom back in 1984. 

We’ll see if “The Boss” can straighten things out with his sleep patterns.

Thank you,

Todd Totale